Children are a gift and a blessing from the Lord and He has placed them in our care and charged us with their upbringing and education. You are right to consider the safety of your child, but be sure that it is wise consideration and not controlling fear. Let me give you a couple of things to think about.

Your daughter is incredibly blessed to be born to loving Christian parents who desire to follow God. I have no doubt that she is a well disciplined child who has the beginnings of a strong foundation that will give her an advantage in life that many children do not get. I know you would prefer it to be later rather than sooner, but at some point you will have to deal with some or all of the issues that you are concerned about your daughter learning from this mother and her child. The reality is that we live in a fallen world and our children are exposed to it. Will God give you the wisdom, love and strength to address those problems as they arise? Who is more important to God, your child? The other child? The mother? If He has called you to be a light to this woman will He provide the means to do it without sacrificing His other child, your daughter?

Matthew 10:35-38 says this, “For I came to SET A MAN AGAINST HIS FATHER, AND A DAUGHTER AGAINST HER MOTHER, AND A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AGAINST HER MOTHER-IN-LAW; and A MAN’S ENEMIES WILL BE THE MEMBERS OF HIS HOUSEHOLD. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.”

Please understand that I am not telling you to place your daughter in a dangerous situation (although that may happen) I am asking you to check your focus and place it on your Father rather than your daughter. He loves her more than you do. If He has called you to love this woman and her daughter He will equip you for it and give you the grace to do it, both to love your neighbor and to raise your daughter.

Consider also, the example that you will be setting for your child. Yes, she may be exposed to some less than holy behavior, but she will also be seeing you walking out a life of compassion led by your heavenly Father. Would you take that over locking her in a bubble of religion?

Don’t go into this without your husband. As a man of God he is the spiritual leader of the family. How you interact with him can be an example to this woman and her husband. He can also be a buffer zone/safety net for you in setting boundaries for when and under what conditions your daughter interacts with your neighbor and her daughter. I agree that it would not be wise to allow your daughter to be alone with your neighbor, but that does not rule out opportunities where you are able to supervise. Where it concerns answering your neighbors’ request to watch your daughter, pray that as you show His love to this woman that He would give you the words you need to lovingly decline the offer without giving offense or hindering your witness. This is the only advice I know to give that would work in any condition under which she might approach you.

My little girls are three and five. At two they were both aware of when they were doing something that was wrong. She will know when something is wrong and she may try it once or twice to test you, but if you are the mother you seem to be it won’t last long and she will be the wiser for it. I understand that you want to protect your daughter, but she can’t live in a bubble either. As the Lord gives you wisdom and strength, walk out a life of compassion as a model for your daughter. Make it a part of being the mother that she needs. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 says this “Hear, O Israel! Yahweh is our God, Yahweh is one! You shall love Yahweh your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons (daughters) and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” As you make Him the central part of your life, you, as parents, and He will become the defining influences in your daughters life.

As a final note, whether or not you reach out to those around you is between you and God. Whether or not they receive it is between them and God. Walk out the part God gives you to play, He and they will work out their parts (that includes your daughter!)

I wrote this and then asked my wife, without discussing it with her, to also write a response. I wanted to be sure I was really hearing from God before I actually posted this. They were nearly identical down to the verses that we quoted. So consider this advice as being from both of us, with love. We understand that this is one of the most difficult things for a parent to do (exposing our little ones to destructive behavior). We pray that in all you do you will be constant in prayer, walking forward as He leads.

Kirk and Candace.